"The Gunfighters"

The Doctor: Oh, quite so. Allow me, sir, to introduce Miss Dodo Dupont, wizard of the ivory keys, and Steven Regret, tenor, and lastly, sir, your humble servant, Doctor Caligari.
Bat Masterson: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Yes, quite right.

The Doctor, Steven and Dodo meet Bat Masterson and Wyatt Earp

"A Holiday for the Doctor", 30 April 1966
"Don't Shoot the Pianist", 7 May 1966
"Johnny Ringo", 14 May 1966
"The OK Corral", 21 May 1966

Written by Donald Cotton
Directed by Rex Tucker
Script editor: Gerry Davis
Produced by Innes Lloyd

William Hartnell as the Doctor
Peter Purves as Steven Taylor (latest extant appearance)
Jackie Lane as Dodo Chaplet

At the end of the previous (no longer extant) story, "The Celestial Toymaker", the Doctor had badly chipped his tooth on a piece of booby-trapped candy, and so when the TARDIS materialises at the beginning of "The Gunfighters", his only thought is to find a dentist who can extract it.

The TARDIS, it turns out, has arrived next to the entrance to the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, in 1881. The team venture out into the streets of Tombstone, where they soon start meeting the town's inhabitants: the Clanton brothers, town marshals Bat Masterson and and Wyatt Earp, and ultimately the town dentist, who is, of course, Doc Holliday.

The Clantons have arrived in town looking for Holliday; they intend to shoot him down in vengeance for the death of another brother, Reuben. The story's first two and a half episodes revolve around a case of mistaken identity, with the Clantons convinced that the Doctor is, in fact, Doc Holliday. Holliday, who's a weaselly, conniving character, helps further this misunderstanding by supplying the Doctor with his own, easily recognisable six-shooter, and even Wyatt Earp--who's a good friend of Holliday's--goes along with it. The Doctor ends up locked in Tombstone gaol for his own protection from the posse the Clantons have raised, while Steven and Dodo are forced, at gunpoint, to play piano and sing in the saloon, with Dodo turning out miraculously to be a talented pianist and Steven displaying a hitherto unhinted-at professional skill as a singer.

Two events midway through part three change the story, redirecting it into the inexorable leadup to the Gunfight at the OK Corral. The first is the arrival in town of Johnny Ringo, a cold-blooded, psychopathic outlaw who's hunting Holliday because his old girlfriend, Kate, has taken up with the Doc. The second is the murder of Earp's youngest brother, Warren, while the Clantons' are springing one of their own brothers, Phineas, from Tombstone gaol.

Ringo allies with the Clantons and hatches a plot to murder Holliday and Wyatt Earp. The Clantons, though portrayed as the villains of the piece, had at least been planning to confront Holliday and Earp in a straight-up gunfight. But Ringo instead insists that while the Clantons confront Holliday and Earp, he will sneak up behind the two men and shoot them in the back.

The story culminates, as we've of course known it will since episode one, in the famous gunfight, by which time another Earp brother, Virgil, has arrived in Tombstone to act as backup. There's a brief diversion from the main gunfight when Johnny Ringo takes Dodo hostage and Holliday, living up to the chivalry that he's always been falling short of so far in the story, throws away his gun to save her life. But he then produces a hidden pea-shooter and shoots Ringo, killing him. All three Clanton brothers also get killed, and Holliday and the Earps have their historic victory.

The events depicted in "The Gunfighters", it should be noted, bear about as much resemblance to the historical Gunfight at the OK Corral as the movie Sahara does to actual American Civil War archaeology. It wasn't Wyatt Earp who was the Tombstone sheriff, but his brother Virgil; Wyatt occasionally acted as Virgil's unpaid deputy. Warren Earp wasn't killed by the Clantons; he wasn't even in Tombstone at the time of the gunfight. In fact, he lived until 1900, when he was killed in a barfight. Johnny Ringo had absolutely nothing to do with the Gunfight, and there was no barfly Kate who formed a love triangle with Ringo and Holliday.

So anyway, with all that settled, the TARDIS team head off to parts unknown. This is the last time we'll see Steven in the rewatch. The next story after this is "The Savages", now completely lost. In it, the TARDIS arrives in the far-distant future, at an advanced city where the inhabitants have reached the culmination of human society, giving themselves completely over to creativity and advancement. But then it's discovered that these people have built their social order on a tribe of cave-dwelling, illiterate barbarians who inhabit the wilderness beyond the city; the city's inhabitants maintain their own vital energy by capturing tribesmen and sucking the energy from them. The Doctor, of course, puts a stop to all this, and Steven stays behind to be mediator of the new society that must be built, as the savages and the city people learn to live together.

What Lisa thought

When I first got into Who fandom in the nineties, conventional wisdom was that "The Gunfighters" is the single worst Doctor Who story ever made. Like "The Romans", it approaches a bloody episode of history as an opportunity for farcical comedy; it's full of British actors making poor approximations of American accents (though I always feel that standards for accents should be lower in television than they are in film). And on top of that, there's the Song.

No straight plot summary of "The Gunfighters" can convey the experience of watching the story, because it leaves out the Song--the ballad "The Last Chance Saloon". "The Last Chance Saloon" summarises and comments on all the action in "The Gunfighters", and it gets played incessantly--at the beginning and end of each episode, and between most scenes. It's also the song that Steven and Dodo perform when held at gunpoint by the Clantons.

Lisa, of course, turned out to love "The Gunfighters", as is her way. She found it very experimental, specifically citing the song as a manifestation of that.

In the time since the mid-90s, fandom has reconsidered "The Gunfighters" somewhat, apparently concluding it's not as bad as we thought.

I'm of the opinion that reconsideration is wrong. "The Gunfighters" is just as poor as we though fifteen years ago, and that's almost entirely because of "The Last Chance Saloon". It stops the story from ever achieving any sort of tension.

So it's time to move on. Since "The Savages" has been lost, the next story in the rewatch will be "The War Machines".

I

"The Ark"

You must travel with understanding as well as hope. I said that to one of your ancestors, once; a long time ago.--The Doctor

Monoids

"The Steel Sky", 5 March 1966
"The Plague", 12 March 1966
"The Return", 19 March 1966
"The Bomb", 26 March 1966

Written by Paul Erickson and Lesley Scott
Directed by Michael Imison
Script editor: Gerry Davis
Produced by John Wiles

William Hartnell as the Doctor
Peter Purves as Steven Taylor
Jackie Lane as Dodo Chaplet (earliest extant appearance)

In the prior (no-longer extant) story, "The Massacre", Steven became involved with a kind serving girl in sixteenth-century Paris, Anne Chaplet. Anne turned out to be one of the victims of the St Bartholomew's Day Massacre, and when the Doctor and Steven escape the Massacre at the end of the story, the Doctor failed to bring Anne along with them, insisting that saving her would have changed history. Steven was so enraged that, when the TARDIS rematerialised (in 1966 on Wimbledon Common), he stormed outside, leaving the Doctor alone.

Just as Steven is about to leave for good, however, a teenage schoolgirl shows up--and she's the spitting image of Anne Chaplet, and she introduces herself as Dodo Chaplet (short for "Dorothea"). Steven concludes that Dodo is some long-lost descendant of Anne, and the three of them enter the TARDIS and head off to times unknown.

That's where we are, then, at the beginning of "The Ark", Dodo's first adventure. The TARDIS materialises in a tropical forest teeming with life. Dodo--whose character is essentially that she's always blithely cheerful, almost always unflappable, and refuses to take Steven seriously when he attempts to put his foot down as a parental authority--at first refuses to believe they've travelled in time, or even very much in space, guessing that the Doctor has taken them to Whipsnade, a zoological garden outside London.

But she's soon forced to abandon that hypothesis. For one thing, all the animals here roam freely amongst each other--Gila lizards and tropical birds and even elephants. For another, the sky over their heads is made of metal. The Doctor concludes (correctly) that they're aboard a generation ship, an interstellar colony ship that takes centuries to reach its destination solar system, so the ship is equipped to allow the original colonists to grow old and die while they're aboard, being replaced by their descendants, and eventually by their descendants' descendants.

Soon, the TARDIS team are ambushed and arrested by the ships' crew, the Monoids. These are a man-shaped alien race, completely green, with no mouths and only a single, cyclopean eye in the middle of their faces.

A word about the Monoid makeup. Given the limitations under which the 60s production team were labouring--a shoestring budget, basically, that prevented any sort of waste whatsoever--the Monoids are, I think, a brilliantly creative achievement. Their "eye" is a ping pong ball, painted with iris and pupil, then held in the actor's mouth. The actor then dons a Beatles moptop wig and positions it so that it covers the upper half of their face, which both makes the "eye" look well-proportioned and obscures any facial features that would break the illusion. It's a great idea, and it has only one failure (a real shame of a failure, really)--the very first time a Monoid appears on camera, he's shown in extreme closeup, to better drive home his startling appearance; but the closeup is so extreme that it's impossible not to notice that his eye socket is actually his mouth.

The Monoids take the team to the ship's main living area, which is much more metal-corridors-and-spaceshippy than the animal and plant habitat. There, they discover that most of the people aboard are actually human. They are, in fact, the last humans; the Earth, visible on the spaceship's viewscreen, will shortly be destroyed as it falls into the sun. The Doctor calculates that in order to see the end of the Earth, the TARDIS must have travelled at least ten million years into the future.

The humans and their Monoid allies have come up with a plan so that their races can survive the Earth's destruction. They have identified a distant planet, Refusis II, of a size and gravity and atmosphere entirely similar to the Earth, orbiting a star very much like the Sun. But it will take them seven hundred years to travel there, so they have shrunk the entire human and Monoid populations down into their constituent parts, essentially preserving them. The populations will be restored once they reach Refusis II. In the meantime, a skeleton staff mans the spaceship; they're called the Guardians, and they and their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren will guide their two races to salvation.

Of course, something soon goes wrong. Dodo has a cold, and both the Monoid and human populations quickly start catching it. Bacterial and viral infections were wiped out literally millennia ago, and Guardian science has no recollection of how to deal with them. On such fertile territory, the virus quickly mutates, and soon enough, both Guardians and Monoids start dying from it.

This is an even more serious problem than it would be other times, since the operation of the ark spaceship is so finely balanced--if one crewmember unexpectedly dies, there's no one to take their function. And of course, the ark's second-in-command--who takes charge when his superior is the first to fall ill--is deeply suspicious of the TARDIS team, and concludes that they have infected the humans intentionally. He therefore imprisons them rather than allow the Doctor to research a cure, and of course, soon Steven falls prey to the mutated virus. The whole thing has strong echoes of "The Sensorites".

You can, of course, guess how things turn out. The Doctor is released and develops a cure, saving both Steven and the crew of Guardians and Monoids, just in time for everyone to witness the Earth's final disintegration on the ship's viewscreen. The team head back to the TARDIS and depart.

And that's when we discover "The Ark"'s central conceit: that's it not actually one four-part story, but rather two two-part stories, set on the same sets, but hundreds of years apart. For the TARDIS rematerialises once again in the ark's zoological garden, but when the team make their way to the main habitation section, they discover that seven hundred years have passed. The ark is about to reach Refusis II.

This is conveyed through a neat little piece of storytelling. The Guardians are building a massive statue of a human male, about the size of the Statue of Liberty. They're using the "old methods" of construction, building by hand; it will take seven hundred years to complete. In the first two parts, only the feet have been completed, but now the team find a finished statue. Only, something's changed: instead of a human head, it bears a Monoid head.

That's not the only thing that's changed, though. The Monoids have risen up and established themselves as an overclass, following a bloody revolution; the Guardians have been reduced to a small group of slaves. The Guardians have been led to believe that they will accompany the Monoids to Refusis II and serve them there, but the Monoids secretly have a different plan: they will leave the humans on board the ark, which will then be destroyed when the fission bomb they have hidden inside the giant statue's head explodes.

The TARDIS team are taken prisoner and added to the Guardian slave labour force. The Doctor and Dodo accompany one of the Monoids down to the planet, as advance scouts. They discover a verdant forest world. In a valley, they find a luxurious house, but they see no signs of intelligent life.

It turns out the Refusians are disembodied psychic beings. They have known of the ark's approach for some time, and have welcomed the idea of humans and Monoids living amongst them--they built structures like this house for just that purpose. But now they have discovered the violence and oppression that marks Monoid rule of the earthlings, they're having second thoughts.

That problem is about to take care of itself, though. The Monoids start arriving on the planet in numbers, but one of them, named Four, is plotting to overthrow the ruling Monoid, named One. A civil war breaks out against the Monoids, and pretty soon, both sides have annihilated each other.

This leaves only the problem of the fission bomb hidden aboard the ark. The Doctor and Dodo have learnt from One that the bomb is in the massive statue's head, but the statue is so heavy that there's no way to move it before it explodes.

One of the Refusians takes care of that. He heads up to the ark and, as a disembodied psychic force, has no trouble lifting the statue into the ship's launch bay, from where it tumbles out into the vacuum of space and harmlessly explodes.

The Guardians then begin the process of moving the Earth's miniaturised population down to the surface so they can be repopulated. The Refusians agree to let them live on their planet, so long as they and the few remaining Monoids can make peace and live in harmony.

What Lisa thought

The high-concept idea that forms the basis of "The Ark" is an intriguing one--the Doctor coming back after centuries and being forced to deal with the consequences of his first visit to a location. The programme will tackle it again, in the 1970s ("The Face of Evil") and 2005 ("The Long Game" and "The Parting of the Ways").

But the results of this first treatment, Lisa and I are both agreed, are fairly disappointing. What we end up with, by splitting the serial up into a pair of forty-five minute stories, is an early cautionary tale about the length of Doctor Who adventures--a lesson (two lessons, in fact) about how limiting the forty-five minute format can be for a programme that has to spend the first twenty minutes of every tale setting up a brand new milieu, and that Who is generally able to provide much deeper, more satisfying stories if given ninety minutes to tell them, rather than forty-five.

The first two-parter has absolutely no twists or subplots. Dodo makes everyone sick; the team get imprisoned; the team get released; the Doctor finds a cure. You know, when the ark's commander falls sick as part one's cliffhanger, exactly how part two is going to go.

And the second two-parter never manages to elicit much dramatic tension at all. First, it has the same barebones-plot problem that the first two-parter has, but then also, by midway through its first episode, the Doctor has made contact with the Refusians, who turn out to be an omnipotent alien race who explicitly will not allow the Monoids to continue ruling the humans as slaves. So we know that Monoid defeat will be soon and easily accomplished.

It also bothered that we saw two generations of a generation ship--and never once did we see a child from either species (and, in fact, only one person over the age of forty).

The next story is "The Celestial Toymaker", which has been lost. It's the first of that tradition of Doctor Who stories taking place in fantasyland, continuing right up to 2010 with "Amy's Choice", which typically do very well with fans and very poorly with general viewers. The next story up on our rewatch will be the one that follows it, Doctor Who's trip to the American West, "The Gunfighters".

I

Doctor Who: "The Time Meddler"

But that means that the exact minute, the exact second that he does it, every history book, the whole future of every year and every time on Earth will change, and nobody will know that it has?--Steven Taylor

The Viking scouting party land in England

"The Watcher", 3 July 1965
"The Meddling Monk", 10 July 1965
"A Battle of Wits", 17 July 1965
"Checkmate", 24 July 1965

Written by Dennis Spooner
Directed by Douglas Camfield
Script editor: Donald Tosh
Produced by Verity Lambert

William Hartnell as the Doctor
Maureen O'Brien as Vicki (latest extant appearance)
Peter Purves as Steven Taylor

The Doctor and Vicki are in the TARDIS control room, commiserating about how much they miss Ian and Barbara, when they hear a noise from the interior rooms--someone's back there! They take up position on either side of the door, prepared to attack whoever it is when they come out, but it's Steven Taylor who emerges, and as soon as he does, he collapses from exhaustion.

Once he's come to, Steven explains that after escaping from the Mechanoid city, he searched through the forest for our heroes, eventually coming upon the TARDIS and stumbling inside. He's grateful for finally being rescued from his captivity on Mechanus, but he's openly scornful of the Doctor and Vicki's assertions that he's now on board a time machine.

Vicki gets him new clothes and apparently gives him a thorough shave, and by the time that's finished, the TARDIS has landed. The crew head outside and find themselves on the shore of an angry sea, at the foot of imposing English cliffs. The Doctor finds a horned Viking helmet on the beach and shows it to Steven as proof that they've travelled not only through space, but also through time.

"Well, maybe," Steven concedes doubtfully.

"Maybe?" the Doctor says. "What else do you think it could be? A space helmet for a cow?"

Unbeknownst to the team, the TARDIS's arrival has been witnessed: a monk was watching from the clifftop. He hides until our heroes walk off, then inspects the TARDIS. But he can't get in, because it's locked.

The Doctor finds an easy, gentle path up to the top of the cliffs, and in a fit of pique he declares that he will take this route, while Steven and Vicki can take the harder, steeper path and meet him at the top.

But once he gets to the top, it's not his companions that he meets. He finds himself at a mediaeval peasant's cottage. The man of the house is away, but his wife, a friendly woman named Edith (played by Alethea Charlton, who previously played Hur in "An Unearthly Child"), gives him some dinner and a flagon of mead.

In conversation with Edith, the Doctor is able to ascertain just when they've landed. Harold Godwinson is the new King, having succeeded Edward the Confessor at the beginning of the year. This news instantly alerts the Doctor that he's landed in 1066, one of the two most famous years in the history of the English-speaking world.

I'm sure it's alerted you of that, too, but nevertheless, I'm going to insult your education and give a brief recap. Harold Godwinson was the last of the Saxon Kings of England. Shortly after his accession, England was invaded by two different armies. The first of these was led by Harald Hardrada, King of Norway and the last great Viking. (He's only ever referred to as Hardrada in this story, presumably to avoid confusion with Harold Godwinson.)

Godwinson defeated and killed Hardrada at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in Yorkshire, then immediately had to march south to meet a second invasion, from William the Bastard, Duke of Normandy. His exhausted army was defeated by the Normans at the Battle of Hastings in October, heralding the Norman Conquest and ensuring that William the Bastard would be known to history as William the Conqueror.

The Doctor calculates that it's currently midsummer, and Edith informs him that they're in Northumbria. This means that Hardrada's army will be landing soon, not too far south of here, at the Humber.

All the time they're talking, the Doctor and Edith have a soundtrack playing behind them: monks from the nearby monastery, chanting. But as they're listening to them, the Doctor hears an abrupt glitch in the singing, like it's not actually live singing, but rather a recording.

But of course, here in the eleventh century, that's ridiculous.

The Doctor leaves Edith and heads up to the monastery to investigate. He finds it apparently abandoned. He enters, and in a small chamber off the main hall, he finds a twentieth-century phonograph, playing a record of Gregorian chants. But then wooden bars slide down, trapping him inside the chamber. He's been captured by the Monk we saw earlier, who now steps out from hiding, laughing.

We cut to the next morning, when the Monk is preparing breakfast--using an electric toaster and an electric griddle. After serving the Doctor breakfast in his cell, the Monk heads back to the cliffs, where he surveys the sea with a pair of modern binoculars. And soon, he sees what he's evidently looking for: an approaching Viking longship. It's not yet the whole army--just a single scout ship.

Out in the forest, meanwhile, Vicki and Steven have spent the night asleep beneath the trees after failing to meet up with the Doctor. Steven is still sceptical that they've travelled through time--especially when he finds a golden wristwatch that someone has lost in the bushes.

The two of them soon run into some Saxon peasants, who capture them and take them to the village. They think that they must be a pair of Viking scouts and want to execute them, but the village headman--Wulnoth, Edith's husband--chooses to believe their story that they're just travellers and releases them. When they tell they're looking for the Doctor, Edith recognises his description and directs them toward the monastery.

They arrive at the monastery and knock on the door, which is answered by the Monk. He tells them, of course, that the Doctor hasn't visited him. But Steven and Vicki are suspicious, and they decide to come back after dark and have a look around.

Meanwhile, the crew of the Viking scout ship have come ashore. They need provisions, so they raid a cottage they come across in the wood--Wulnoth and Edith's cottage, though only Edith is home. After the Vikings have gone, Wulnoth returns home, to find his house sacked and Edith brutalised (but still alive). He collects the men of the village together, and they go hunting the Vikings.

A battle ensues between the villagers and the Viking party. The villagers win, but two of the Vikings escape. They need a place to hide until the main body of Hardrada's army arrives, so they decide to head to the monastery, planning to take the monks hostage.

Once night falls, Vicki and Steven sneak into the monastery. They come across the Monk's phonograph and toaster, and then find the cell where he's holding the Doctor. But they discover the Doctor is no longer inside--he's left his cloak on top of a mound of blankets on the sleeping pallet, to make it look like he's asleep, and has escaped down a secret passage he must have discovered in a corner of the cell.

Vicki and Steven follow the passage; it disgorges them in the woods, near the clifftop. They return to the TARDIS to see if the Doctor has returned, but he hasn't. In the bushes on the clifftop, though, they discover what looks like a modern grenade launcher mounted on a tripod. Someone (the Monk, obviously) has left it there, pointed out to see.

The Monk, unaware that the Doctor has escaped, has headed to the village, where he asks a favour of Wulnoth and the other villagers--because they believe him a man of God, they're always more than willing to do whatever he asks. He asks them now if they would light beacon fires for him on the clifftop, so that approaching ships will know where to land.

The Monk tells Wulnoth that he needs the beacon fires because he is expecting some building materials to arrive by ship. But what he doesn't know is that, after escaping from his cell, the Doctor returned to Wulnoth and Edith's cottage, where Edith gave him dinner. The Doctor told her that soon a Viking invasion fleet would land at the Humber, but that King Harold would defeat it.

Though he doesn't let on to the Monk, Wulnoth now concludes that the Monk wants beacon fires to lure Hardrada's fleet towards the beach. He's right, of course, but unlike us, he hasn't seen the cannon the Monk has hidden there, so he doesn't know that the Monk is only trying to attract the fleet in order to blow it out of the water. He instead concludes that the Monk is a Viking spy.

Failing to find the Doctor at the cliffs, Vicki and Steven have returned back up the secret tunnel to the monastery, which is now deserted. Looking around more, they find an electrical cable which appears to run directly into a heavy stone sarcophagus. Steven presses the side of the sarcophagus, and finds that it opens just like a door. He and Vicki enter--

--and find themselves in the control room of a TARDIS. The Monk has a TARDIS. He isn't just a time traveller: he's a member of the Doctor's own people.

They explore the interior of the Monk's TARDIS. They discover a whole trove of treasures from all periods of Earth's history, as well as what look like projectile grenades, but Steven is able to identify them as neutron bombs. They're ammunition for the cannon on the clifftop.

"What's he trying to do?" Steven asks. "Sink a ship?"

"He could sink a whole navy with one of these," Vicki responds.

They also find a big sheet of paper labelled PROGRESS CHART, on which the Monk has conveniently detailed his entire eight-step plan, including "Sight atomic cannon", "Light beacon fires", "Destroy Viking fleet", and "Battle of Hastings". The final step is "Meet King Harold", which is our indication that he's definitely planning on changing the course of history, since Harold, of course, was killed at Hastings.

The Monk, still under the impression that Wulnoth will help him, is just returning to the monastery when he's apprehended by the Doctor, who presses a stick into his back to make him think he's carrying a gun. But before the Doctor can get an explanation out of him, there's a knock at the door.

The Doctor can't afford to ignore the knocking, as that would alert whoever was there that something was wrong, so he answers the door--to find the two survivors from the Viking scout party. They storm inside and take the time travellers captive, but they're so certain that a pair of old men pose no threat to them that they let their guard down, allowing the Doctor and the Monk to take them captive.

After the Vikings are tied up, the Doctor gets the Monk to tell him his whole plan. He's going to destroy Hardrada's invasion before it can land; that way, Harold Godwinson won't have to march north. His army will therefore be well-rested at Hastings and will defeat the Normans. With England thus spared a line of Norman kings, she will be able to avoid centuries of entanglement in French conflicts like the Angevin Empire and the Hundred Years War. With the country thus stable, the Monk will be able to accelerate technological progress: "Jet airliners by 1320! Shakespeare will be able to produce Hamlet for television!"

The Doctor is horrified by this, but since it's William Hartnell, that horror doesn't take the form of the moral outrage that later Doctors would give us; instead, it's the exasperated berating of a schoolteacher toward the foolish children under his authority. He demands the Monk show him to his TARDIS, where the two of them encounter Vicki and Steven.

As the four of them are emerging from the Monk's TARDIS, however, they encounter the two Vikings, who have managed to escape. The Monk manages to convince them that he's on their side, and they tie up the Doctor, Vicki and Steven. The Monk tells the Vikings that his neutron bomb missiles are "magical charms" that will help Hardrada's army, and gets them to carry them with him up to the cannon at the clifftop.

As they're leaving the monastery, though, they're attacked by the men of the village, led by Wulnoth. They're chased into the woods. The Vikings are surrounded and killed, though the Monk escapes. Edith frees the Doctor and his companions.

The Doctor goes back into the Monk's TARDIS and ties a long piece of string around a piece of equipment inside the control console. It's evidently a very delicate operation: after it's completed, the Doctor exits the TARDIS, then very carefully pulls the string until he also pulls out the piece of equipment. Pleased with himself, he slips the equipment into his pocket.

With the Monk being hunted by the villagers, the Doctor is confident now that he won't be able to destroy Hardrada's fleet, and that the Battle of Stamford Bridge--and the Battle of Hastings--will go off as history says they should. He, Steven and Vicki return to the TARDIS and depart.

The Monk, meanwhile, eventually eludes his pursuers and returns to the monastery. But a nasty surprise awaits him: when he attempts to enter his TARDIS, he discovers it's no longer bigger on the inside. The Doctor has removed his dimensional control, thereby shrinking the TARDIS's interior so that it now fits into its exterior; the Monk cannot get inside. He's stranded in 1066 England, with the country about to undergo successive invasions and the Harrowing of the North.

The Doctor and the Meddling Monk

What Lisa thought

Lisa's word to describe this one was "okay". She did like that she didn't see coming the revelation that the Monk had a TARDIS and was one of the Doctor's own people.

(The part three cliffhanger, with Steven and Vicki entering the sarcophagus and finding themselves in a TARDIS control room, is probably my favourite 60s cliffhanger.)

"The Time Meddler", put in context, is arguably a very important Doctor Who story. It's the first time we've met one of the Doctor's people besides the Doctor himself and his granddaughter; indeed, at this point, there still hasn't been any comment on whether the Doctor's people are, in fact, human.

But even beyond that, it's the first time a historical has had a science fiction component, besides the presence of the main characters. Such a development is approached with real freshness--even though there's science fiction, there's still no traditional "Doctor Who monster", for instance. And it's done in such a way that the audience learns a whole lot about the time period in which it's set, without ever once feeling like they're having a history lesson. Maybe all those reasons are why I love it so much.

(Well, okay. I also love the "space helmet for a cow" line.)

"The Time Meddler" marks the end of season two, but it also marks the beginning of something else: that period of Doctor Who that has been almost eradicated by the BBC's wiping policy. In the first two seasons, we've missed only two stories ("Marco Polo" and "The Crusades"). But we're about to cover seasons three, four and five in only six stories, two of which will have missing episodes.

The next story after "The Time Meddler" is "Galaxy 4", in which the TARDIS team fight a race of militant, cloned interstellar conquerors who all look like attractive twenty-year-old blonde women. I'm particularly upset that it's missing.

Then is "Mission to the Unknown", a one-part prologue to "The Daleks' Master Plan" that contains none of the regular cast. "Mission to the Unknown" was Verity Lambert's last involvement in the programme, after which she was replaced with producer John Wiles.

Then "The Myth Makers", in which the TARDIS lands in the middle of the Trojan War. Vicki falls in love with Troilus during the story, and at the end she leaves TARDIS to marry him and become the mythological Cressida.

Then there's "The Daleks' Master Plan", a twelve-part epic. The late Nicholas Courtney makes his first appearance in Doctor Who, though he's not yet Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart; instead, he's evil Earth Security Agent Bret Vyon. (A two-minute clip of his performance has been preserved, because during Peter Purves's long period hosting Blue Peter in the 1970s and 80s, it's the clip that would be played of Steven whenever Blue Peter did a Doctor Who segment.) The Meddling Monk also appears in "The Daleks' Master Plan", having allied himself with the Daleks.

And then we come to "The Massacre of St Bartholomew's Eve", in which, unsurprisingly, the Doctor and Steven get caught up in the events leading to the St Bartholomew's Day Massacre. New companion Dodo Chaplet is introduced at the very end of the story, and we'll pick up our rewatch with her first adventure, "The Ark".

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Doctor Who: "The Chase"

Am exterminated! Am exterminated!--A Dalek, upon losing a fight with a Mechanoid

The Doctor and his evil double duel with their wood. Let the slashfic commence!

"The Executioners", 22 May 1965
"The Death of Time", 29 May 1965
"Flight Through Eternity", 5 June 1965
"Journey into Terror", 12 June 1965
"The Death of Doctor Who", 19 June 1965
"The Planet of Decision", 26 June 1965

Written by Terry Nation
Directed by Richard Martin
Script editor: Dennis Spooner
Produced by Verity Lambert

William Hartnell as the Doctor
William Russell as Ian Chesterton (final appearance)
Jacqueline Hill as Barbara Wright (final appearance)
Maureen O'Brien as Vicki
Peter Purves as Steven Taylor (first appearance)

The Doctor has been tinkering with a time-space visualiser, which he took from the space museum, and he's got it working again. With it, the TARDIS team can watch any instant in all of space and time. They watch Lincoln give the Gettysburg Address, an audience between Shakespeare and Elizabeth I, and a performance of "Ticket to Ride" by the Beatles on an episode of Top of the Pops. Vicki has heard of the Beatles, has even visited their museum in Liverpool, but "didn't know they play classical music", a description that disgusts Barbara.

The Beatles sequence isn't on the North American DVD of "The Chase" (though it was on the earlier North American VHS release), and, while I understand the rights issues involves, I think that's a shame. That performance of "Ticket to Ride" actually gets used in Beatles documentaries, and it only exists because of its appearance in Doctor Who--the rest of that episode of Top of the Pops has been wiped.

(The story goes that originally, the Beatles themselves were actually scheduled to appear in the programme--made up to appear in their seventies, they'd be picked up by the time-space visualiser while attending their fiftieth anniversary. But Brian Epstein put the kibosh on them appearing in a cheap kids' science fiction show.)

That bit of fluff concluded, the TARDIS materialises on a hot desert planet, boiling beneath the heat of two suns. Ian and Vicki dash off over a dune to go exploring, while the Doctor and Barbara hang back to sunbathe. At this point I kind of wondered in the Doctor would attire himself for sunbathing by pulling swimming trunks on over his frock coats and check trousers, a la Batman and the Joker having their surfing competition, but no, he just remains fully clothed while he lays out.

Ian and Vicki discover a metal hatch in the sand. They pull it open and descend into the crumbling tunnels of an abandoned subterranean city. But soon they're attacked by a large, tentacled creature--it looks a bit like a squid, but moving about on dry land. And it's between them and the hatch, so they have no option but to retreat deeper into the tunnels.

Back on the surface, the Doctor and Barbara are prevented from looking for their friends by a sandstorm, which not only changes the entire landscape but also buries the TARDIS. And it reveals a new threat: a squad of Daleks, hunting the TARDIS team (whom they now describe as "our greatest enemies").

They flee and take refuge with the planet's native humanoid inhabitants, the Aridians, who look like anthropoid silver fish. (I don't mean they look like anthropoid silverfish, but that they wear lycra jumpsuits and swimcaps spray-painted silver, with fins glued on to look like fish.) They explain that this planet, Aridius, was once an aquatic paradise, but that the water burnt away as the planet was drawn closer to the twin suns.

(Which opens the question as to how it came to be named "Aridius". Was it named by the Ironic Planetary Naming Authority, or by the Bad Luck Planetary Naming Authority)?

The Aridians tell the Doctor and Barbara that when the planet dried out, the mire-beasts invaded the Aridians' underground cities. The mire-beasts--one of which is obviously the creature that has cornered Vicki and Ian--cannot be defeated, and so the only solution for the Aridians is to wall off those sections of their tunnels that become infested.

The Aridians take Barbara and the Doctor to their city, but soon enough the city is contacted by the Daleks, who demand that the Aridians hand over the TARDIS team or face extermination. Not wishing to put their hosts in a bad situation, the Doctor declares that he and Barbara will leave, but the Aridians refuse to allow him to do so--the Daleks have specifically told them that if the team escape, they will destroy their city.

Meanwhile, Vicki and Ian have fought off the mire-beast, but in the process Ian took a blow to the head and got knocked unconscious. Vicki runs off in fright, and in her mad dash through the tunnels, she somehow finds a way through into the very chamber where the Aridians are holding Barbara and the Doctor. They make to arrest her, too, but before they can, a mire-beast bursts in, having followed her through the tunnels.

In the confusion, the Doctor, Barbara and Vicki make their escape, and Vicki leads the group back to Ian. He's awake--his wound looks worse than it is. (And it really does look bad--there's a lot of blood flowing from that temple for 1965 television.) While awake, he's found an exit from the tunnels--and it leads right to the TARDIS.

The TARDIS, buried in the sandstorm, was discovered by the Daleks, who captured a pair of Aridians and used them as slave labour to excavate it, then killed them when they were finished. Ian and the Doctor are able to distract the Daleks, and the team escape and dematerialise.

A few minutes after they're in flight, though, the Doctor learns some shocking news from the TARDIS's sensors: the Daleks are pursuing them. They've built their own time machine and are hunting the team through space and time.

Cut to the Dalek time machine's control room. One Dalek gives a report calculating how big a lead the TARDIS has on them, and after he gives this report, the Dalek commander demands he convert the amount into Earth measure. The original Dalek actually stutters as he does the arithmetic. ("Um ... er ... ah ... twelve ... Earth minutes.") This is one of those moments in fandom that's cited as a reason why "The Chase" isn't a very good story--the ridiculousness of a stammering Dalek. But what I'd like to point out is how unreasonable the Dalek commander's demand is in the first place--why on Earth would he need the time units converted to Earth measure? If you're, say, the pilot of an RAF bomber, and your tail gunner reports, "We've got German fighters closing in behind us, skipper! About five hundred yards!", you don't very well respond, "Sorry, Bill! Since our enemies are German, I can't act on that information until you translate 'five hundred yards' into German for me!"

Anyway. We now go into a series of set pieces, where the TARDIS materialises, the crew briefly interact with their surroundings, and then depart; then the Daleks arrive, ascertain that the TARDIS has already left, and pursue it. This includes extensive shots of the time vortex, with a cardboard cutout of the TARDIS chased erratically across the screen by a cardboard cutout of the Dalek time machine, while some very jazzy incidental music played. You kind of wonder if the BBC hired the Dave Brubeck Quartet to do the music for this serial. (In fairness, the cardboard cutouts do get larger as they cross the screen, which does an excellent job of creating the illusion that they're moving three-dimensionally rather than two-.)

The first stop on the chase is atop the Empire State Building, where the team meet Morton Dill (played by Peter Purves), a tourist from Alabama who's just gosh-darned amazed at everything he sees in the big city. When the TARDIS dematerialises a few moments later, he concludes he must have stumbled across the production of a movie, something he thinks gets confirmed when the Daleks show up a few minutes later. He examines the Dalek he meets by walking in a full circle around it, and the Dalek's eyestalk follows him, tracking 360 degrees to keep up with him--it's a really cute moment. (Morton Dill survives the encounter--the Daleks murder no one on their visit to the Empire State Building. Well, not on this visit.)

Next, the TARDIS arrives at and quickly departs from the Mary Celeste. The Daleks also arrive and depart, but not until their appearance has so frightened everyone aboard that they've jumped ship into the Atlantic Ocean, leaving the Mary Celeste deserted, with its famous half-drunk cups of coffee and breakfasts in the middle of being eaten. A Dalek falls overboard, too, and actually screams in terror as he falls.

The TARDIS's next destination is the front hallway of a spooky, dark, deserted mansion, which the Doctor identifies from its architecture as Central European. The Doctor and Ian head upstairs to explore the house, while Barbara and Vicki wait by the TARDIS.

While, they're waiting, a figure in a dark cloak approaches them, introduces himself as Count Dracula, and then departs. The Doctor and Ian discover a laboratory with a shrouded body lying on a slab; they pull back the shroud to reveal Frankenstein's monster, and quickly flee the lab.

The Doctor theorises that somehow, the TARDIS has transported them into the recesses of the human mind, a dream world. This excites Ian, because surely the Daleks can't possibly follow them into the human subconscious. But he's wrong, because soon enough, the pepperpots do indeed arrive.

A battle ensues between the Daleks, Dracula and Frankenstein, with the Daleks' guns having no effect on the monsters. In the commotion, the Doctor, Ian and Barbara pile into TARDIS and dematerialise, and not until it's already too late do they realise that they've left Vicki behind. The Doctor insists there's no way to go back and get her; he simply doesn't have sufficiently fine control of the TARDIS.

Vicki, though, manages to dart inside the Daleks' time machine and hides there; the Daleks withdraw from their battle and take off in pursuit of the TARDIS. After the spooky house has once again fallen quiet, a camera shot shows us its front entrance, where a large sign identifies it as a carnival fright house, part of the "Festival of Ghana, 1996; admission $10" (yes, dollars). But a sticker placed over the sign tells us that the festival has been "cancelled by order of Peking".

While hiding aboard the Dalek time machine, Vicki is able to watch the Daleks hatch their next stratagem: they construct a robot duplicate of the Doctor, identical to the original in every way save for the fact that he's played by an actor who doesn't really resemble William Hartnell at all, and programme to "Infiltrate and kill!" the TARDIS crew. (That phrase is repeated a good eight or ten times during episodes four and five.)

I can't really think of a better way they could have done the duplicate-Doctor, given the constraints under which they were operating, but I've got to say, it's pretty unsuccessful. The production team make a valiant attempt to have William Hartnell play the duplicate whenever possible, but most of the time, they have to use the unconvincing double. And I don't just mean that happens the Doctor and the robot have to appear in the same scene; I mean it happens whenever they appear in consecutive scenes (which happens for most of the robot's time in the programme).

1960s Doctor Who was shot "as-live", meaning that as near as possible, a thirty-minute episode was recorded during a thirty-minute block of time at the studio. So when the camera cuts from a scene between Ian and the Doctor in one location, to a scene between Barbara and the robot in another location, there simply isn't time for William Hartnell to run across to the other side of the studio to play both scenes.

In the robot's first appearance, at the cliffhanger for episode four, the double is used for a long shot, surrounded by Daleks; we then cut to Hartnell for a closeup, still stood on the TARDIS set from the previous scene, with a Dalek eyestalk extending into frame to make us think we're still aboard the Dalek time machine. But that really doesn't work: neither Hartnell's posture nor the background match the double's.

Still, two things do work. First, William Hartnell dubs all the robot's lines as the double mimics them; sure, there lip syncing's slightly off, but that's forgivable given that, once again, this was being done live. And second is the scene where the Doctor and the robot finally meet. Hartnell will speak a line playing one character (of course, by that point, we don't know if he's the Doctor or the robot) facing off to camera left; we then cut to a shot of Ian or Barbara or Vicki, during which, Hartnell turns around; we then cut back to Hartnell, now facing off to camera right, and Hartnell delivers a line as the other character.

So. The TARDIS now arrives on the planet Mechanus, a jungle planet. (No doubt it was named Mechanus by the same Ironic Yet Creepily Predictive Planetary Naming Authority that named Aridius.) But it's a jungle of large, extremely aggressive fungi that are more than happy to eat whatever human-sized creatures come near them. The TARDIS team are trepidatious about walking off into the jungle, but then suddenly, a path lights up along the ground. They follow it, and it leads them to a cave where they take refuge.

Meanwhile, the Daleks have landed and sent their robot off to find the team. Vicki waits till all the Daleks have left, then heads off into the jungle to try to rejoin her friends. From their cave, the others hear her calling for them, and Ian and the Doctor head into the jungle to find her.

While they're gone, the robot arrives at the cave and rather callously tells Barbara that Ian is dead, killed by the fungi. She doesn't believe him and insists they go look for him, so the robot accompanies her into the jungle. As soon as they're isolated, the robot attempts to kill her, but he's stopped when Ian comes upon them--Vicki has by now told him and the Doctor about the robot.

The robot Doctor runs off into the jungle, and the team split up to find him. Of course, the endgame for this is that Ian, Barbara and Vicki are all gathered in a clearing, and the two Hartnells enter from opposite sides at the same time, so that neither we nor the team know which is the real Doctor.

One of the Hartnells orders Ian to get out of the way so he can thrash his double with his cane. Ian says, "And if I don't?" to which the Hartnell responds, "Then I'll give you the same treatment!" and takes a swipe at him. Ian and this Hartnell, supposedly the robot, grapple, while Vicki, Susan and the "Doctor" watch on. Ian throws the robot to the ground and picks up a large rock, preparing to brain him.

The "Doctor" with Vicki and Susan then forcibly turns Vicki away, saying, "Susan, I don't want you to see this." This lets Vicki and Barbara know that this "Doctor" is actually the robot. Ian is stopped from braining the real Doctor by Barbara's scream. The robot runs off, and the Doctor follows him. The two of them then duel with their wooden canes, and while they're locked together, the Doctor is able to pull the robot's wiring from its chest, destroying it.

Yes, that means that the real Doctor, while aware that his fellows didn't know whether or not he was a robot sent to assassinate them, attempted to beat Ian with his cane purely for not getting out of his way fast enough. The sad part is that I can't actually say, "This is a horribly contrived, out-of-character action for the Hartnell Doctor to perform," so much as I can say, "This actually isn't all that big a stretch, character-wise, for the Hartnell Doctor."

So with that all taken care of, our heroes retreat back to their cave. But they're soon found by Daleks, who surround the cave and prepare to exterminate the team. The Doctor attempts to impersonate the robot, exiting the cave and telling the Daleks that they've all already been killed, but the Daleks see through the ruse easily. The Doctor narrowly escapes extermination.

(It's actually Ian who suggests he try it. Barbara objects immediately, and while Ian, Barbara and Vicki argue about it, the Doctor slips out at the back of the frame. They're all just agreeing it's an unworkable plan when they hear the Doctor's voice speaking to the Daleks, telling them the mission has been completed. The Daleks respond with a gunshot, and the Doctor darts back into frame, looking rather frazzled. It's a cute little scene.)

Before the Daleks can storm the cave, however, a door opens at its rear and a robot emerges. It's a giant metal sphere with bits and bobs attached, and it speaks with a droning intonation not unlike the Daleks' voices. It ushers them into the door from which it has just emerged, with turns out to lead to a lift.

They ascend in the lift. The Doctor attempts to make conversation with the robot, but it ignores him. The lift takes them to a magnificent city of what spires, built on a platform high above the fungal jungle. (Man. "Fungal jungle". I'm calling that one. You want it, you pay a royalty.)

They're ushered through the city's corridors--populated only by more of the spherical robots--to a sleeping chamber, where they meet another human being. This is Steven Taylor, who's played by Peter Purves, the same actor who played Morton Dill back atop the Empire State Building. He was a space pilot in Earth's interplanetary wars, but his ship crashed. For two years, he's had no one to talk to but his cuddly toy panda.

Steven explains that the robots are Mechanoids. Earth had intended to colonise Mechanus and sent the Mechanoids as an advance party, to build the city. But when the wars came, Mechanus got forgot about. Now the robots will only think that arriving humans are the colonists if they know the Mechanoids' code; since neither Steven nor the TARDIS party know the code, they're trapped here as the Mechanoids' prisoners.

Their cell contains access to the roof, where Steven goes to exercise. On the roof is an extensive length of electrical cable; now that there are five people here, instead of just one, they can use the cable to lower each other the fifteen hundred feet down to the ground. Vicki, terribly acrophobic, has to be forcibly held down while the others tie the end of the cable around her, then holds her eyes shut in terror as they lower her to the ground.

Meanwhile, the Daleks have ascended the lift chute and demand the Mechanoids hand over the TARDIS team. When the Mechanoids refuse, a battle ensues, and soon the whole city is ablaze. The battle is actually very well done, a montage of model shots and shots of the two different robot forces rolling around and firing (the Mechanoids are equipped with flamethrowers), framed by flames licking at the edge of the screen.

When smoke starts billowing onto the city's roof, Steven, panicked, dashes back inside, to rescue his cuddly panda. When he doesn't re-emerge, the TARDIS team assume he's been killed. They themselves finish climbing down to the ground, and they make their way through to the jungle to the Daleks' time machine. They discover it's been abandoned--all the Daleks, like the Mechanoids, have been wiped out in the battle.

Now Barbara realises that, with the intact guidance mechanism on the Dalek time machine, she and Ian can use it to travel back to 1963 Earth, if only the Doctor will show them how to use it. He angrily refuses, calling them both utter idiots, but really, of course, he just doesn't want them to leave him. It's really a terribly sweet moment, such a very true portrayal, especially for someone of Hartnell's age and generation, conditioned not to show soft emotions.

But thanks to Ian and Barbara's entreaties, he agrees, and next thing we know, the two schoolteachers have landed in London. It's 1965 instead of 1963, but as Ian says, "What's two years between friends?" There's then a lovely montage of Ian and Barbara frolicking through London; playing with the pigeons in Trafalgar Square; Ian expressing mock horror upon discovering a police box on the Thames Embankment.

At the end of the day, they climb aboard a bus, speculating about whether they'll be able to get their old jobs back. The conductor comes along to sell them their tickets, and Ian reaches into his pocket, asking for two threepennies.

"Two threes?" the conductor exclaims. "Where you been, the Moon?"

"No," says Ian, "but you're close!"

Vicki and the Doctor watch the whole thing through the time-space visualiser. Vicki is overjoyed to see them so happy, but the Doctor is still grumpy. As he shuffles off, he murmurs the truth: "I shall miss them. Yes, I shall miss them."

What Lisa thought

"Well," she gruffly conceded, "maybe I'm sort of sorry they're gone. But only because I don't get to complain about Barbara anymore!"

All gruff on the exterior to hide how much she cares on the inside. Sort of like William Hartnell, is my wife.

I, on the other hand, am pretty happy. With "The Web Planet", "The Space Museum" and "The Chase", we've now finished a run of sixteen episodes that I think are pretty dire, broken only by the first episode of "The Space Museum". And next up is one of my favourite Hartnells, "The Time Meddler".

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